


Dream SMP Roller Derby AU Headcannons

by a_bored_fanboy



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: All Pronouns for Eret, Alternate Universe - Roller Derby, Angst, Aro Ace Technoblade, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexual Karl Jacobs, Bisexual Eret, Bisexuality, Family Fluff, Fluff, LGBTQ Character, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Neurodiversity, No Smut, Older Sibling Sam | Awesamdude, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Protective Siblings, Roller Derby, Rollerblades & Rollerskates, Team as Family, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Floris | Fundy, Trans Male Character, idk how to tag, projecting because covid sucks and i just want to skate, trans girl drista
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:33:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29971899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_bored_fanboy/pseuds/a_bored_fanboy
Summary: A collection of headcannons and one-shots based around if all the predominant characters in the smp played roller derby.(this whole thing is just me projecting about wanting to get back to roller derby because of covid.)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Sam | Awesamdude, Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Dream SMP Ensemble & Dream SMP Ensemble, Eret & Floris | Fundy, Eret & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt/Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I did this right! This is my first time posting here so if anyone has any constructive criticism/help that would be greatly appreciated! 
> 
> ...
> 
> I know introductions are always a bit disappointing, so i'll try to keep this one short and get the first chapter up soon.

Hello! This book is going to be a collection of one-shots/headcannons that my brain word-vomited out. I will post sporadically since I am in school, but will attempt to post often. I will take requests and they would be appreciated. I will write: bits of romance (I am aro tho so idk how good it will be), fluff, angst, and basically anything that vaguely fits with the narrative and isn't inappropriate. 

...

This work will be taken down or changed if any content creator inside of it has a problem with it's nature or contents. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was literally just directly pasted from the google document I have for this.  
> (non player characters coming soon) 
> 
> ...
> 
> Hope you enjoy! (ps. oh god I can't spell.)

Tommy: A blocker but originally wanted to be a jammer (he now defends the blocker position as the coolest one). joined because of techno and wanting to be like him. He is 14. He has so much energy it's not even funny. Tubbo is his best friend. The only non-lgbt person on the team. Youngest brother of sbi and youngest on the team. He/Him

Tubbo: also a blocker, but sometimes jams. Is incredibly chaotic and a good blocker, but everyone underestimates him due to his size and him seeming calm when compared to Tommy. He met Tommy though derby. He is 15. he/they

Wilbur: blocker. Is one of the most showy of the group. Dating Schlatt. Was the last of the sbi to join the team. Has just so much glitter on his costume, it can only be rivaled by Eret’s. Middle child. He is 17. he/him and bi

Fundy: blocker. It is joked that he is a furry because of the fact that he had fox ears on his helmet when he first joined. Also joked that he is marrying Dream. He is trans and Wilbur has to constantly lecture him about taking off his binder before practice and bouts, leading to him being jokingly called Fundy’s dad. He is 16. he/him

Eret: blocker/rarely jammer. His entire derby outfit is pride colors and glitter. Famous for wearing a strawberry dress to a bout. Always wears sunglasses due to his photo-phobia (because of this the lights were toned down in any bout he is in). Bisexual. he/she/they.

Ranboo: Hasn’t found a position yet. He was the most recent to join. Doesn't know how to skate too well. Has split dyed hair. Has diagnosed short term memory loss. He is 15. He/Him

Technoblade: Main jammer. He has played longer than most of the team. Has very long pink hair that he braids. aro/ace. oldest sbi sibling. He has a rivalry with dream over who is better (dream is faster, techno is stronger). He shouts “Blood for the blood god” and “Technoblade never dies” when he either gets through a particularly hard to get through pack or narrowly avoids getting out. He has the most fouls of the team (Tommy is second) He is 17, almost 18. he/him.

Niki: jammer. One of the smallest but also most experienced members of the team. Everyone underestimates her due to her cheery attitude and stature, but if she wanted to she could just wreck you. Everyone on the team knows under no circumstances do you make Niki upset. She is the big sister of the group. Bisexual. She is 17. She/her.

Sam: Pivot. He works at the rink on weekends and therefore as access to the back rooms. Has played on the team longer than most of the others. Helps the younger players with homework and coaches them on how to skate better and not get hit out, etc. Oldest player on the team. Recently turned 18. Is a sort of big brother figure. he/they. 

Puffy: switches out for the jammers when they get tired. Dyed her hair rainbow one year and just never went back. She is seen as the cool aunt figure by those younger than her, who will let you get away with anything as long as you bring her along. Dating Niki. A raging lesbian. Recently turned 17. she/her.

Quackity: plays whatever position, but is often a bench warmer. He uses his phone to auto-tune his voice as much as possible. Also works at the rink and abuses those powers way more often then he should (it’s a wonder he hasn't been fired). Gay and polyamorous. 16 years old. he/him.

George: an all around average player but is a blocker. He doesn't have any really defining features or qualities besides getting flustered easily, screeching loudly, being constantly teased by and shipped with Dream, and the one time he had clout goggles glued to his face. He is the player they put in when a starter is tired. (I’m sorry to anyone who actually likes George, I just don’t find him particularly interesting.) Gay. 16 years old. he/him

Skeppy: backup jammer. Is incredibly loud. Dating bad. Had blue hair because of a bet with bad. Tends to try and prank the other players and have it fail miserably. It took incredibly long for him and bad to start dating, to the point that they were frustrating their friends. Bisexual. 16 years old. he/him

Sapnap: Jammer but often blocks. Has a tendency towards arson (this was found out by him almost burning down the building). Dating Karl and Quackity. Recently turned 16. Gay and polyamorous. he/him

Dream: jammer. Is the most agile person on the team, despite his height. Constantly teases George to the point that there are shippers. One of the best skaters on the team. Current holder of the record for quickest to 50 laps. Has a rivalry with Techno. Gay. 16 years old. he/him


	3. Karl & Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just like the idea of Bad and Karl showing up in cheer-leading costumes and passing out snacks.

Karl and Bad are the team "cheerleaders", and the entire team loves them because they bring snacks. This started when Bad brought in muffins one day (and Karl made signs) and the entire team begged him to make more because they were so good. Eventually Sapnap and Quackity convinced Karl to wear a cheerleader costume and the two of them became the official cheerleaders of the team.


	4. Chapter 4

The "Fundy is Wilbur's son" joke came along when the team realized how protective Wilbur was over Fundy and teased him about it. Unluckily for Fundy however, Wilbur Just accepted it and declared Fundy his son. Wilbur now calls Fundy "his little champion" and makes _Endless_ dad jokes to him. 


	5. Chapter 5

Just the idea that Phil is slowly adopting the entire team. Like, he doesn't leave the rink without greeting every single kid and inviting them over for dinner. The man collects kids like Pokemon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of last chapter.

Tommy and Wilbur teamed up to make Pokemon cards of all the kids Phil had 'adopted' when they realized that he was slowly adopting the whole team. Phil laughed his head off when he saw the cards, but keeps them with him at all times.


	7. Chapter 7

Techno has long, bright pink that hair came to be purely because he was too lazy to cut it. (Or that's what he told everyone, the real reason is that it hides his face and makes public situations much easier to hide from.) The bright pink part came about because Wilbur and Tommy thought it would look cool and pestered him for weeks on end over it until he finally did it (and now he loves it, though he would never admit that to his brothers).


	8. Chapter 8

The Sleepy Bois family dynamic is cannon, with Phil as the dad, Techno as the oldest, Wilbur as the middle child, and Tommy as the youngest.


	9. Chapter 9

One time George glued a pair of 'clout goggles' to his face for a dare and got them stuck there for a week.

...

George: It'll be funny, he said. It'll come right off, he said. They haven't come off for 2 days Dream! I have school tomorrow!

Meanwhile Dream can be heard from the other end of a phone, laughing his head off.


End file.
